Some of us think about self nourishment and we immediately think of being self-centered and taking too much time for ourselves; not giving enough to others.
Others think about nourishing ourselves and we feel a sense of entitlement and connect to what we deserve in this moment because of what we do and who we give to and how we move through the world.
Nourishment is a component of self-care that is has so many gray areas, so many variables depending on who’s self-care picture we are looking at.
In my world, these days especially, nourishment looks like a bowl hot vegetable soup at the end of a long day, getting into my bed (which is my happy place), and sharing my day with my husband.
All of these things make me feel completely nourished.
There is also a list of things I do on a daily basis, that NOURISHES me, but doesn't necessarily NURTURE me. NOURISHMENT WITHOUT FEELING.
Nourishment without feeling in my world shows up as taking my supplements, getting my workout in, connecting with my weekly to do list and getting it done, leaving nothing unchecked in my mind. It’s a different level of nourishment from the vegetable soup and the cuddles.
I think it would be interesting to study how we learn nourishment from our parents, handed down from generation to generation. I know in my lineage I had to relearn this piece, as it was the last piece that was ever addressed growing up.
I think it would be interesting to study how we learn nourishment from our parents, handed down from generation to generation. I know in my lineage I had to relearn this piece, as it was the last piece that was ever addressed growing up.
I watch the older people in my bloodline and although they nourish themselves in ways that don’t necessarily resonate with me, there is still a place for it to happen. It is not intentionally done, it is obligation sourced. Make sense?
For me, nourishment equals self-love. We all move through self-love and different ways. Either on the defensive or the offensive.
Nourishment is our way of putting self love into action. Self nourishment anyway.
Oily Tool for the week:
Yep. There is an oil for THAT! Because there is an oil for EVERYTHING!
This week we are highlighting PEACE AND CALMING. This stuff...oh man....soooooo good.
Challenge for the week:
Spend three days with me. Let's look at how you are nourishing yourself with FOOD. What is your intake? Is it enough? Too much? Does it need to be tweaked?
I TAKE BIG BITES.
When I learn a new system, procedure, belief, rule, process.....I go to it. I absorb it. I breathe it in and take it all... it until it becomes part of who I am.
I swallow things WHOLE, I don't take little bites, never have.
I used to think, on a very fundamental, deep level, that this was the WRONG way to be.
Too fast, too much, too intense.
Then, I grew up. I moved through my 30's. I fell in love with my unique ways, my gentle storms, my seeker's path.
I have committed my life to creating integration of joy and acceptance for the people I serve. Nothing lights me up more that watching the families I serve learn, grow and heal in a way that they never knew possible.
This BLOG entry is all about a few VERY simple tools that have carried me far. Dive in, take big bites, enjoy all of the flavor these words have to discover.
We live in a world where many of us feel we need to be at a breaking point to finally search for self care. It's like we need permission to stop and love on ourselves.
Many of us give and give and give, out of balance, out of exchange. We go hard, to the point of having nothing left, hitting a walk, getting stuck on a channel that we DON'T want to be on.
Well, let's change the channel, shall we?
Or at least have a conversation about changing it! Because the program is no longer working for us! It is toxic and holds no value for its audience.
It is time to start giving to the person in the mirror (the mirror in the bathroom when you are ALONE, not with kids crawling all over you).
BALANCE BASED GAME CHANGERS FOR THE BUSY,
COURAGEOUS SHAPE SHIFTER
1. TAKE THE TIME TO TAKE THE TIME
We HAVE to take time for ourselves, or we crash. We need quiet, still time to integrate and freshen the ideas swimming around in our brains. If we don't give TIME the focus that it deserves, we get to the end of our day and ask how it all went so fast. With no self care.
Growing up we had NAP TIME. Time to rest and renew, break in the middle of the day. Somehow most of us move away from this very important ritual because there is JUST TOO MUCH TO DO. However, what I find is that if I take the 20 minutes mid day, the rest of the day is so much smoother, less reactive and volatile.
Many of my mentors, who totally floor me with all they get accomplished, still use this very important mid day reset.
Besides a NAP, there are some super SIMPLE tools to implement around TIME:
One of the pieces that TOTALLY LIGHTS UP MY CLIENTS is to do a TIME STUDY, a true DOUBLE CLICK on how you are spending your time, and with INTENTION shapeshifting your schedule to be in alignment with your goals. Let me know if you want to spend some time with me looking at your TIME in this unique way.
Other simple tools to implement:
- Have a schedule. Schedule YOU time in. I know it sounds silly, but if you don't schedule it, it won't happen.
- Have an accountability buddy, outside the home, that has not motive but to see you be great. Share your calendar for the week with them. Check in at the end of the week and share your wins and challenges.
- Have a plan, a program to follow, to help you find the solutions you want to realize!
I am TOTALLY digging this book lately, all about wisely using time. It was suggested to me to partner up with someone who is interested in studying it with you.
2. FEEL IT ALL
For some reason, in our culture, we think that to be strong equates to being HAPPY AND JOYOUS. That when we feel sadness, or mourning, or loneliness there is a weakness to look at.
One of my MENTORS once shared that our true emotions only last 30 seconds, the rest is our story around them.
Emotions are energy in motion. That's it. Energy with flavor / attachment. But...if we don't process them they build up and make us sick.
Being EMOTIONAL is NOT a weakness. In my experience, calling my emotions a weakness will only lead me to self-sabotage. And frankly I am SO OVER self sabatoge...total waste of TIME!
Shit can get real!
Sometimes I connect so deeply with a sense of sadness that I feel like I am looking down a never ending well and if I look to close, I will fall in.
I don't always want to look. I don't want to know how deep the deepness goes. However, when I DO look, it is always tangible and I can always find my way back.
See it, go in, then get the hell out. That's it.
I will often use an essential oil, a yoga posture, a chant or just some straight up love based music to connect deeply with my feelings.
Feel it all.
Feel the good, the bad, the ugly.
Give yourself permission to REALLY GO THERE and embarrass the TRUTH of what you feel. Not what you are supposed to feel, or told to feel. What you TRULY feel. It won't last forever mama, I promise.
Use your tools. Grab your journal and get it going again. Create a collection box of memories and keep it close, open it up to connect with what you need to continue to heal.
3. CREATE SACRED SPACE
Home. The best. Where we unwind, integrate, process, love and rest. Sacred spaces make a house a home.
When I was little, like 10, I used to listen to Casey Casum on Sundays and reorganize my room. I loved the potential of what a new space could create for me. I knew about sacred space then, and I still TOTALLY thrive with spaces that hug me.
Spaces in my home that make it all possible:
- A desk space that makes my mind feel clear. I love to diffuse oils in my office space that support clarity and concentration
- A meditation space dressed with special treasures that connect me to what I love most
- A bathtub that is sanctuary space, with yummy scents and balms that are fun to explore
- A kitchen that is thought out, organized, labeled and clean
Creating sacred space took years to learn, to absorb. Now it is everywhere I am, and I am with it everywhere.
4. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
Practice patience, practice kindness, practice i don't know what the hell I am doing or what to do and smile, and breathe.
Practice the storms of ideas and questions and wrong doings and contemplative moments in between, and knowing that it is ALL GOOD. It is all part of the journey. It is all a drop in a very large ocean. Practice makes perfect mama, practice makes perfect.
Practice being a part of something so large that you can't even contemplate its effect, its ripple path, and staying connected to its trajectory even when there is NO SIGN OF RYTHM or sense of it all.
Practice being right where you are, in this moment, connected solely to what is under my feet, no distractions.
Practice makes perfect, practice makes perfect.
5. NOURISH YOUR BODY WISELY
There is a fine balance between TOO MUCH, TOO LITTLE and JUST ENOUGH. Our body needs a specific amount of energy each day. A specific amount of each vitamin, mineral, macro nutrient and micro nutrient.
If we take in too much, we head towards OVERAGE dis-ease process.
If we take in too little, we head towards DEFICIENCY dis-ease process.
How do we find the balance with all of it? Here are a few tricks and tips that have served me:
- Make sure at least 80% of your plate, each time you eat, is made up of 1 ingredient foods. Choose VERY LITTLE intake from processed foods. You should be able to PRONOUNCE the ingredients that you are consuming.
- Know your relationship with different foods. Know what makes you tired, what energizes you, what bloats you, what is EASY to integrate, what is hard to integrate. Choose wisely.
- Make sure that at least ONE MEAL a day is at a table, with a pretty setting, a drink and NO SCREENS on.
- Don't eat when you aren't hungry. Most of us don't even know when we are hungry, because we really don't let ourselves reach that point.
- Take good supplements. Don't waste your money on the cheap stuff. It is not good for you. Reach out to me if you need to know what to be taking.
I offer my circle a $27 day intake review. Check out ad below, click it if you want to know more.
I love rollerballs. They are cute little glass tubes that you can keep in your purse for a lift, a channel change, a mid day support.
SELF CARE WOMAN WARRIOR ROLLER BALL
- 10 Drops of Lavender
- 10 drops of Peace and Calming
- 10 drops of Valor
- 10ML Roller Bottle
- Top up with carrier oil or V6
- Roll on bottom of feet then throw on a pair of yummy, happy socks. Apply often, to support emotions.
It is important to know that not all Essential Oils are created equal. You can't just go out to a retailer and trust that you are getting good stuff. CLICK HERE to set up a time with me to get the good stuff.
A huge part of the healing process is recognizing that healing needs to happen. If we see what our patterns are and know what we want to change we can create a course of action to create that change.
Often we are so deep in our process that we don’t see clearly. Studying our patterns, letting them come to the surface, allowing them to breathe and show themselves and dance around in our head for a few jigs is huge.
Watch. Listen. Change.
Example: If I move through the world reacting by screaming....
Every person who pisses me off, I scream at them.
One day I wake up and recognize that this is NOT how I want to move through the world anymore.
If I can look at that pattern, and see the relevance it has in my life, I can start to recognize it, before it happens, while it is happening, and make the decision in the moment to not act on it, to not react.
Because I have seen the pattern, I can choose to behave differently.
We learn this in kindergarten, no? Learn the pattern, recognize it when you see it next time.
Applying this tool to every day living can take someone from moving through the world as a victim to moving thrugh the world as a WARRIOR. Yep, WARRIOR STATUS Sisters, here we come.
Don’t we all want to be warrior status right now? Couldn't getting our act together NOW make a difference, everywhere? Yes. The answer is YES.
HERE is a link to a patterning exercise. Learn what to do and what not to do in the moment of reaction.
Hope you have fun with this one.
Oily Tool:
Diffuse RELEASE while working on patterning.
This stuff is the REAL DEAL. I love the way I feel when I am using it.
If you need oily tools, and don't have them, click HERE.
Somebody very wise once told me that expectations lead to resentment.
These days, living in a home with resentment is just about unbearable.
As a strong woman, I need tools in my toolbox that center around communication in my home.
Using this family meeting process has been one of my number one go to used to making sure that our baseline around the house is sanity. We start from sanity and build up.
I know that we parent either in spite of how we were taught, or because of how we were taught.
Family meetings in my home growing up were not a common thread. We just spontaneously reacted our way through many years of harsh intensity.
To create change for my kids and my marriage, I have to implement tools that are not natural to me.
My husband and I learn together, grow together, create together. We have found a way of making things comfortable for all of the members of our home.
Our communication style is honoring and effective. And at the center of all of this communication is our family meeting.
There have been days where insane thinking and insane behavior seems to be the rule of the roost. But most days, we do pretty good. And this is one of the biggest tools we used to keep consistency.
Oily Tool for Family Meetings:
A huge part of understanding how to find peace between your ears is knowing your cut.
What Cut?
Some people move through this world incredibly fast, get things done at lightning speed, and don’t look back.
Some people take their time, move slowly and do one thing at a time thoroughly.
And some hang out somewhere between the two and find their groove in the middle lane.
Knowing which lane you thrive in, and knowing that is your cut, can make the difference between self acceptance and self hatred.
Know your lane, Sister.
Once you know what lane you thrive in you can create a world around you that supports your natural disposition.
You can create patterns around it, fortresses around it, relationships around it, QUEENDOMS around it.
You can also run from your natural cut, and be miserable. It’s up to you to design a life that you love. It’s up to you to know your patterns, know your cut, and know what you need.
And acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. When I am disturbed is because I find some person place thing or situation that is unacceptable to me. I can’t find peace until I learn to except that person place or thing as exactly the way it is supposed to be in this moment.
I love looking at patterns of what I naturally do, compared to what I think I should be doing.
Often, when I’m looking for something, trying to figure something out, I take a step back and literally say out loud, what would I do? Or where would I put it? Or what would I say? And that’s usually my answer.
I know that myself, now that I am almost 50 years old. But when I was in my 20s and 30s I was clueless; lost in my lane, not sure which end was up and why I always felt like NOTHING FIT.
If I had read a blog post about such things BACK THEN it would’ve have taken me far. Had I been able to slow down enough to take the words in and really observe them, it would have changed a lot of self sabotage.
In Chiropractic we talk about a force hitting the system, time to integrate that force and the detriment to the system if we’re not able to integrate it.
I beg you, urge you, invite you to take these words as a gentle force to integrate and know that they can shape shift your life:
You are perfect, just the way you are. Your cut is your cut, don't try to change it. Yield into it, make the world form to fit you.
If you know your cut, if you know the lane you do best in, you can build a world around you that feels comfortable and safe and secure.
A world without self-doubt. A world where you understand who you are and what makes you tick and who you are not and what does not serve you.
You will then be able to ask for what you need. You will then be able to discover what you need.
One of the reasons I cherish my friendships so much is because my friends are quickly able to point out patterns that I can’t always clearly see. And I do the same for them. I love looking at patterns for my peeps, my clients, my patients; as they are so much easier to see than my own.
And there are tools, that we can stick in our Strong Women Toolbox to find our patterns. To call them out, let the shitty ones go, grab tight onto the great ones and move on.
Check out this link for getting some useful tools around Patterning Work; the link will lead you to a vault of info on my site, with some cool stuff to help you find your way, find your patterns.
Hope you love it. I sure do.
Oily Tool: I love my tools. This is a good one.
How to use: take three drops in your hands, rub together, cover your face with your hands and breathe it in.
